Leaving and Staying
by The Noble French Fry
Summary: Their relationship was based on his inability to stay and her inability to leave. Neither was capable of budging, so they met each other halfway. In between leaving and staying. [JackElizabeth. Set between the last 2 scenes of AWE and after.]
1. Leaving and Staying

**Title:** Leaving and Staying (1/1)  
**Fandom:** Pirates of the Carribean (my first PotC fic!!!)  
**Summary:** Their relationship was based on his inability to stay and her inability to leave. Neither was capable of budging, so they met each other halfway. In between leaving and staying.  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Pairings/Characters:** Jack/Elizabeth, slight Will/Elizabeth because it's canon  
**Length:** 3,300 words  
**Genres:** romance, angst  
**Spoilers: **major spoilers for AWE, since it's set in that giant gap of time while the credits were playing  
**A/N: **Well, I've been formulating this since the first time I watched AWE, which was on opening night... Heh. I'm really hesitant about writing for new fandoms, even though I've written over a hundred fics in at least a dozen fandoms. I'm just weird like that.Oh, and there's also an alternate version of this fic that's a lot briefer and also has less Sparrabeth, more Willabeth angst. If you're a bigger fan of Willabeth, I'd suggest you go read "In Absentia". :)

* * *

**  
**

**Leaving and Staying**

Nine years and three-hundred sixty-four days.

An awful long time for Elizabeth Swann Turner to get lonely on an island so far detached from everyone and everything. The first week without her new husband was the worst. Every day she could scarcely think of anything but her the emptiness in her heart left by the departures of her father, James Norrington, and most recently Will.

By the eighth day, the solitude was eating her from the inside out. She was starved for any sort of human contact to distract her. Any sort of touch that anyone could give her to fill the emptiness.

On the ninth day, as fate would have it, a terrible storm washed up a small dinghy with a certain familiar pirate aboard.

At that point, she would've gladly welcomed _anyone_ to her island and the home she had begun to build there. The fact that it was Jack Sparrow was only a tacked-on bonus that she gladly accepted.

While staring through the pouring sheets of rain, she spotted his form on the beach, trying to haul his dinghy the rest of the way out of the water. Elizabeth immediately bounded down the beach to him. She helped him drag his boat up the beach to a safe distance from the turbulent ocean, then launched herself at and hugged him.

He blinked at her for a moment before returning the embrace.

She smelt the rum on his breath and figured that it was probably part of the reason he'd been blown ashore. When she pulled him through the wind and rain to her little cabin, he stumbled and she knew that if there were such a thing as too much rum for Jack Sparrow, he'd had it.

Once in the cabin, though, she kissed him and all drunkenness was gone from his eyes. He was startled sober.

Her marriage vows were still so fresh in her mind, her promises to remain true to Will, but she was so ravenous for any form of love, she let herself break them. She let herself step well over boundaries into places she never would've thought she could go.

She knew that first morning after that what she had done was wrong, terribly wrong, but she couldn't stop. The guilt always nibbled at the back of her mind, but for four more days, she broke her promises to Will, with Jack more than willing to help each time, even when he was sober.

In those four days, Elizabeth felt at once more lonely and more loved than she ever had before. She held on to the love, fearing that when it was gone, the loneliness would devour her.

In spite of that, Elizabeth couldn't dare ask Jack to stay. Despite all of his offers, she couldn't go with him when he left, either. Some part of her heart, still bound to Will even after all she'd done, wouldn't even let her consider the thought. If she couldn't stay so true to Will, she could at least pretend she did.

So Jack Sparrow went back to sailing the sea in search of treasure—the Fountain of Youth this time, he claimed—and Elizabeth sadly watched him set sail in his patched little dinghy four days after he first washed up in it.

The nights that followed his departure seemed even lonelier than the ones before his arrival. Now she had lost two lovers instead of one. Both were sailing out on the open seas, taking Elizabeth's heart out there with them. She wished she'd accepted Jack's offer, even though she knew she couldn't have.

It wasn't long after Jack left that Elizabeth discovered she was pregnant. Knowing that there was a child growing in her made her much less lonely, but some nights, the little reminder one of her lovers had left behind didn't help at all.

The baby's name was also a burden that nagged at her mind. When she first discovered she was pregnant, she'd immediately resolved to name the child after her father. But every time she whispered "_Weatherby_" to her unborn child, memories of her father came rolling back to her in waves that drowned her in sorrow. Finally, she took to simply calling the child "Bee." It hurt far less.

The time passed slowly. Elizabeth knew that Will wouldn't return for years yet, but she wondered about Jack. She didn't know when he would return, or even if he would.

But nine months after he left, Jack did indeed turn up again; empty-handed, but just in time to help deliver Elizabeth's child. He stayed a few days after the baby's birth, and hesitantly asked only once if the child was his. Elizabeth admitted to him that she honestly didn't know, but given the child's features, she had a good guess.

She saw in his eyes that it was too much for him to bear, and when the baby's cries awoke her the next morning, she found him gone.

Again, she was left wondering if and when he would return. She didn't have much time to dwell on the matter, though, as most of her time and effort was put into tending to her newborn. Still, she wondered about Jack.

Her perpetual thoughts of him brought her, at some point, to name the child after Jack. _John_ Weatherby, she amended the name. She swore to still call him Bee, though, never John and certainly never Jack. And she would never to mention the child's full name to Jack either. She knew that would certainly be too much for him.

Six months after he left, she awoke in the middle of the night to startlingly find Jack asleep in her rocking chair. Even in slumber, he was slowly rocking the chair back and forth with the sleeping baby held protectively yet caressingly against his chest.

Though Elizabeth wanted to wake Jack and ask him half a dozen questions, she couldn't bring herself to disturb him or Bee. Instead, she laid on her side and watched them sleep until she fell back into slumber herself.

She awoke the next morning before Jack did, and laid there again, watching him. He awakened to find her staring and smiling at him. He stood quickly and laid the baby back in the crib, murmuring some excuse about how he'd accidentally woken the child up when he came in the night before.

Though he shrugged the whole thing off, Elizabeth could never forget the sight of him swaying back and forth with the baby curled against his chest.

She asked him about what had been through in the six months since he had left, and he recanted stories of the treasures he had searched for, the treasures he had found, and the adventures he had been on. She figured most were exaggerations—she expected no less from Jack Sparrow—but she welcomed the stories nonetheless.

They spoke of nothing of substance—no talk about how Elizabeth was holding up, no words about when Jack would leave, no discussion about Will. Only of Jack's adventures, the home Elizabeth had built on the island, how Bee was growing.

After Jack had been there a week, Bee exhibited one of his new developments. Speaking softly to her son as she held him in the crook of her arm, Elizabeth was encouraging him to eat when he giggled and murmured his first word: mama. He must've sensed Elizabeth's delight at his first word as he repeated it over and over again.

Jack too had been amused by the child as he walked over and smiled down at Bee. He tickled Bee's side with a finger, muttering about how they were never going to get him to shut up now.

The child reached out towards Jack, grabbing his finger, and uttered his second word.

_Dada._

At the single word, the smile on Jack's face instantly evaporated and his expression darkened as he pulled away.

For Jack's sake, Elizabeth quickly shushed the baby and went on feeding him, then rocking him to sleep. Jack sat silently in the corner, watching them with a dark, brooding expression on his face.

Elizabeth wasn't at all surprised when she awoke the next morning to find him gone.

The next time he came, Bee was beginning to walk. Elizabeth tried to keep her son quiet, fearing that he would again cause Jack to leave. Despite her efforts, though, the child tirelessly referred to Jack as _dada_.

That night, Elizabeth resignedly went to sleep, all but knowing that when she awoke the next morning, it would be just her and Bee again.

But then she actually woke up the next morning to find Jack still beside her, his arm thrown possessively across her mid-section. Her heart did flips of joy, but she forced it to still. Tomorrow, he'd leave. She knew he would.

She told herself that every morning for two weeks, but it didn't come to pass. He stayed no matter how many times Bee called him dada.

The fourteenth day of Jack's visit was Bee's first birthday, and the three of them had a little party. Elizabeth made a cake, or the nearest she could get to it with what meager ingredients she had, and let the baby have an unaided go at his own slice of it. Grabbing two fistfuls of cake, Bee immediately hit both Jack and Elizabeth square in their faces with it. All three of them laughed themselves senseless at that.

After Elizabeth cleaned up the mess and Bee, she presented the baby with his birthday presents: toys made from shells and rocks and various other things she'd found on the island. And Jack sat his hat on Bee's head like a special party hat. It was far too big for the baby and it flopped around on his head, but he giggled excitedly at his new treasure. Jack's attempts to take it back were harshly opposed and completely futile.

After Bee wore himself to sleep, Elizabeth laid him in the crib and slowly reclaimed Jack's hat. She proudly presented the hat back to Jack.

As she finished cleaning things up, Jack stared at the hat and brushed at the worn leather. Then quietly he told Elizabeth that he thought she was doing a wonderful job raising Bee. In return, she laid a hand on his shoulder and confessed to him that he was more of a help than he realized. They shared a smile.

When she fell sleep that night in Jack's arms, Elizabeth let herself hope that he would be there in the morning. He'd been there for two weeks when she was sure he would leave. Maybe he would stay a while longer.

The next morning, though, when she rolled over, expecting him to be there, he wasn't. With her hope dashed, Elizabeth was lonely once again. That day was harder to get through than most, and she silently berated herself for that slip in judgment. She was only going to cost herself more grief.

Only a month and a half later, Jack returned again. This time, he brought a gifts. Dresses for Elizabeth, clothes for Bee, plenty of foodstuffs, random odds and ends that Elizabeth could use around the house… And, most importantly, a late birthday present for Bee. It was a fist-sized model of a ship, carved from a block of wood and painted pure black like the _Pearl_.

It was all leftover plunder, according to Jack. Things that the crew had no want or use for, or things they had overflow of (like the food). Except for the mini _Black Pearl_, of course, which he'd had made especially for Bee. (When Elizabeth asked about the real _Pearl_, Jack grumbled that he hadn't quite regained it from Barbossa yet but that he was formulating plans… again.)

Elizabeth told him she couldn't thank him enough for all of the gifts. He replied it was a good thing he wasn't going to accept thanks.

The second night of this visit, he surprised her by taking her in his arms, brushing a kiss across her forehead and whispering in her ear, "I'm leaving tomorrow, love." It was the first time he'd ever warned her that he was going to leave.

Before she could stop herself, she'd whispered to him, "Stay."

As he shook his head, his eyes fell closed. They opened again in the direction of the ocean and she saw the longing there. It was then that she finally realized that he could never truly stay. Just as the sea still whispered to her heart sometimes, begging her to sail, it beckoned to Jack at the core of his being. He had to answer its call just as much as he had to breathe.

Elizabeth slept terribly that night and awoke before the dawn, while Jack was still preparing to leave. He walked over to the bed where she laid and took her hand. He kissed her fingertips, then her cheek. And he did another thing he'd never done before: he promised he would be back. He didn't say when, but he did promise to return.

That was a hope Elizabeth let herself have: that he would return. She kept that hope with her every day over the eight and a half months it took for that to happen.

Instead of coming in with the dawn or like a thief in the night, this time he waltzed through the door in the late afternoon, when the sun was beginning to edge towards the horizon. Little Bee squealed with delight and rushed to attach himself to _dada_'s leg. Elizabeth expected Jack to just detach Bee and set him off to the side with a pat on the head, but instead Jack swept the child up to rest on his hip. He then waltzed across the room to peck Elizabeth's cheek and mutter a cheery "'Afternoon, love," in her ear.

Raising an eyebrow, she commented on his blatant liveliness. Jack simply shrugged and she didn't pursue the matter, but instead asked after his adventures since his last visit. He recapped them to Elizabeth and Bee over dinner.

When dinner was finished and Elizabeth stood to clean everything up, Jack stopped her and said he'd do the dishes, she needn't have to.

She sat obediently back down, wondering who in the world this person cleaning up her dishes was and what they'd done with her Jack Sparrow. She didn't complain, though—who would complain about not having to do dishes?—but she did wonder if he had some sort of ultimatum and if she should be afraid of it. She couldn't figure anything out, though, so she let the thought drift mindlessly away.

It was she was laying Bee down to sleep that it suddenly hit her that today wasn't just another day.

Today was, in fact, her second wedding anniversary to Will.

She clamped a hand over her mouth to keep in a short, startled sob that she knew would wake her son. Keeping that hand firmly in place, she hurried out of his room and closed the door behind her.

Jack was waiting for her in the main room with a sympathetic look. She realized then that he knew and had known what today was. That was his reason for being so cheery and nice—he'd wanted to brighten her day, assuming she would be having a difficult one.

He'd known what today was, but she hadn't.

The thought baffled Elizabeth. How had she forgotten her own wedding anniversary? Even with Will gone, she somehow felt as though she should remember. Yes, granted, she'd also forgotten her anniversary last year, but then she'd been dealing with a newborn and hadn't known one day from the next. Now, on the other hand, she had no excuse.

Jack opened his arms to her, and she fell into them sobbing. Not because she felt guilty for having forgotten, but because she _didn't_. She didn't know how long she cried, but the next thing she remembered was Jack guiding her to the bed and whispering that she ought to get some sleep. She'd nodded but told him she would only go to sleep if he promised to be there in the morning.

His nod was the last thing she saw before going to sleep.

She awoke early the next morning and opened her eyes not to find Jack in her bed as she expected. Sighing, she at first assumed that he'd broken his promise and left again. But when she rolled over, she found Jack asleep in the old chair that sat against the opposite wall of the room.

Smiling faintly, Elizabeth quietly slipped out of bed and went to go make breakfast. When she was halfway done, Jack came out of the bedroom stretching and mumbling something about never sleeping in that chair again.

Smirking, Elizabeth murmured that there had been no need for him to sleep in the chair in the first place.

That night, he certainly didn't sleep in the chair.

When she pulled him close that night, he backed away from her initial kiss. He quietly asked if he was her consolation, her replacement for her husband who wasn't there. In return, she whispered to him what was honestly written on her heart.

He could never be a consolation prize to her.

The next time she leaned towards him, he met her halfway.

When Elizabeth rolled over early the next morning and reached for him, she found her bed empty. Thinking that maybe he'd already woken, pulled a blanket around herself and searched the cabin for him.

Surely, she thought, he couldn't have left. Last time, he'd warned her before leaving. He would've told her this time if he was going to leave.

But she didn't find him anywhere in the cabin.

Leaning against a wall, she slowly slid down to the floor with the blanket pooling around her form. She sat there numbly for hours until the sun had fully risen, wondering why he hadn't given her a warning this time. And, closing her eyes and leaning her head back against the wall behind her, she wondered if she would ever get used to this.

-

And she continued to wonder that for over eight more years. After each stay of a few days at the least to two weeks at the most, when he'd leave, the exact same thought would cross her mind again. Then time would pass and Bee would ask when daddy would be home. Sometimes it was only a month; sometimes it was seven or eight.

Even with the haphazard "schedule" he kept up, he never once missed one of Bee's birthdays, bringing some fantastic gift that the child loved for years to come.

Jack's love for Elizabeth and Bee never overcame his love for the sea, though. He always left, never stayed. But his love for the sea never overcame his love for Elizabeth and Bee either. He always returned.

On some nights, he would whisper to Elizabeth that he was leaving the next morning.

Most times, though, he would just vanish before the morning light.

Elizabeth never decided which was worse: knowing when he would leave and dreading his departure, or simply waking up one morning to find herself alone in her bed. Both ways left her feeling lonely, even though she learned how to bear it and hide it.

At times, she was sure that she was completely independent from him with the way she bore his leaving. At other times, she wondered how she would ever survive without him.

Their relationship was based on wanderlust and homebodiness. On his inability to stay and her inability to leave. Neither was capable of budging, so they met each other halfway. In between leaving and staying.

If you had asked her before all of this if it would work, she'd have dismissed the thought immediately. She'd have said that that wasn't a true relationship.

Now, though, she was eternally glad for this relationship. Or whatever it was that existed between his leaving and her staying.

* * *

**A/N #2: Okay, I know I originally said this was a oneshot... But due to popular demand (and the very persuasive and helpful Tempo), there's going to be a part 2 that spans the next 10 years. :) **

**Please review. It would make me feel a lot less nervous about my first time writing PotC fic. :)**


	2. Visiting and Living

**Title:** Visiting and Living (Leaving & Staying part 2/2)  
**Fandom:** Pirates of the Caribbean  
**Summary:** Some nights, she sat on her bed in the dark, wishing she could cry. But she found that all the wishing in the world would not help her now, and there was little point in it, so she stopped.  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Pairings/Characters:** Jack/Elizabeth, slight Will/Elizabeth  
**Length:** 4,700 words  
**Genres:** romance, angst  
**Spoilers: **major spoilers for AWE  
**A/N: **Um, yeah, you probably all hate me completely now. It's been a whole freaking month since I posted the first part. Whoopsie... Life and work and... junk got in the way. But I've been busting my butt these past couple of days to finally finish this and get it out to you guys. So I hope you forgive me. And also, this one's a lot longer than the previous part... It wound up covering a lot shorter period of time than I expected, but it wound up SO much longer... Don't ask, I have no idea. Um... And I really am so unsure about this part because the last half of it has been so oddly planned and cobbled together. So please, if you like it, let me know. It'd soothe my nerves a whole lot.  
**EDIT, A/N #2:** Oh, yes, and I had a lot of y'all saying last time that you were very confused as to who Bee's father was. The fact of the matter is, I purposely didn't explicitly say who Bee's father was. I wanted you to all guess and make up your mind for yourself whether it was Jack or Will. It's all up to you and your own imagination. :)

* * *

**  
**

**Visiting and Living**

A week before Will would arrive, Jack left, claiming he wanted the _Black Pearl _to be as far away from the _Flying Dutchman_ as possible when it arrived. Elizabeth wished he didn't have to go so early, but she knew that it made sense. She gave Jack a trunk, returning all of his gifts from the past ten years—temporarily, she assured him. Still, he looked a bit saddened by the act of putting the trunk into the dinghy that he would use to row out to the _Pearl_, anchored off the coast of the island.

Before he did, though, he turned to Elizabeth, kissed her lightly, and promised her that everything would be fine.

The comment soothed her nerves and she spent the next week trying to relax herself while making the final preparations for Will's coming.

The day that she and Bee stood on the bluff, watching the horizon as the flash appeared, all of the apprehension reentered Elizabeth's chest in one great surge. By the time Will was actually coming ashore, she'd practically made herself sick. But then the rest of the visit passed by in a blur.

A week after Will left, Jack returned curious, and Elizabeth's first reaction had only been to remark on Jack's speedy return. But he sat her down and asked about Will, and she told him what few details stuck out to her in the blur.

Will's expected surprise about Bee, his comments about how much Bee looked like Elizabeth (she agreed it was true: almost every trace of his father had faded from Bee as he grew), his smile at Bee's "manners" in calling him "sir." Once, he asked if she'd seen or spoken to Jack in the past ten years. Before she had to lie, though, he dismissed the idea as unreasonable. Then Will had asked Bee if his mother had told him stories of the great Captain Jack Sparrow. Bee had looked uncertainly to Elizabeth, who answered for him: yes, she'd told the boy a few of Jack's stories when he was younger. Will had laughed and muttered a bemused, "Of course!"

When Elizabeth told Jack that, he grinned appreciatively. Then he went on to ask the question that Elizabeth had been asking herself for a week: what did she think of Will's visit?

For that week, she had been unable to formulate an answer. This time, she sat thinking about it long moments before she answered.

But finally, she did.

Will's visit hadn't been like she expected. She'd expected the visit to pass like the old days, not at all like ten years had come and gone. Somehow, she had expected to still feel the same way about him in spite of everything that had happened in the past ten years. But there had been several hours of awkwardness followed by several more of getting reacquainted.

And Will…

Will was different than he had been ten years ago. The years of grim duty aboard the _Dutchman_ had changed him in ways Elizabeth didn't immediately recognize and ways she pretended to understand.

Elizabeth admitted that she too was different than she'd been ten years ago. Life on the island and life as a mother had drastically changed her in ways that Will didn't see or understand. Her relationship with Jack had changed her outlook on things too—something she wouldn't _ever_ admit to Will.

There was no doubt in her mind that she still loved Will—he was her first love and that feeling never truly went away—but time had changed her love for him, and he was no longer able to be what she really needed.

Upon realizing and confessing that out loud, Elizabeth wrapped her arms around Jack and buried her face in his chest. Neither of them had ever been particularly given to professions of love, but Elizabeth whispered then that the very same ten years that had distanced Will from her had brought Jack closer.

The thought was, she whispered, so unfathomably unlikely that before she might never have believed it would happen.

That ten years time could make her not the right mate for the man that she had married, but perfect for another man entirely, and that those same years could make that man right for her seemed so… strange. Contrary to all of the fairy-tale love stories that had been written on her mind from a young age.

But she shuddered to think what shape she would be in if that storm had never blown Jack's dinghy ashore all those years ago.

Pulling back slightly, Jack asked if she was ready now. She frowned and asked, "Ready for what?" but he didn't answered and instead shrugged it off. She didn't pursue the matter either, but let it drop.

She thought about it, though, after Jack left the next morning. Surely, he had to have been asking her something important… But, as the months wore on and she failed to come up with any answer, Elizabeth gradually forgot about it. By Jack's next arrival, almost seven months later, it didn't even cross her mind to bring it up again.

He came in the evening, shortly after Elizabeth had sent Bee to bed. Raising an eyebrow, he asked if she was too tired for him. She responded that had she ever once in the past ten years been too tired for him?

Of course, he _had_ to remind her of the days after she'd given birth to Bee where she fell asleep without warning, even right in the middle of conversations with him.

Scoffing indignantly, she insisted that he would've done the same if he'd just had to shove another human being out of his body and then have that same human being keep him from getting a night's sleep. In fact, she said, she was sure he would've done a worse job than she. And that was why childbirth was best left up to women.

Jack laughed. That was fine by him, he said, just so long as the _conception_ wasn't left up to women alone.

Elizabeth whole-heartedly agreed with that.

The next morning at family breakfast, Bee immediately opened up with, "Tell me where you've been, Daddy," knowing full well that it would launch Jack into the lengthy tales of where he'd been and what he'd done in the past seven months.

Jack kept Bee entertained with the stories off and on through the entire day until well after supper time. When finally, the stories came to an end, Bee sat staring starry-eyed at Jack.

Then he said something Elizabeth had expected, perhaps dreaded for a long time: that he wanted to be a pirate too, just like his daddy.

Smiling, Jack said that maybe someday, but to be a pirate, one had to be at least thirteen years of age. Mouth falling slightly agape, Elizabeth shot him an angry, warning glare from behind Bee. He stammered dumbly for a moment and Elizabeth adamantly mouthed "Sixteen! Sixteen!" at him several times.

But Bee had already latched onto his words, and exclaimed that his thirteenth birthday was not too far off—just over three years!

_Oh, what a beautiful __mess_ Elizabeth thought.

But it was too late for intervention now, she knew, so she simply sent Bee to bed. To dreams of the open sea, no doubt.

The moment he left the room, Elizabeth gave Jack a glare more deadly than any weapon she had ever wielded. He answered by saying that Bee was her son, and that he would want the sea as much as Elizabeth herself had, even if he had never heard a single story.

Elizabeth knew that it was true, but she refused to concede the battle to Jack and berated him a hundred ways for instilling such foolishness in their boy. She went to bed that night without surrendering either.

The next morning, she was not at all surprised to find Jack gone. Honestly, she was a bit relieved at his departure. She hoped that his absence might give Bee a chance to calm down and regain some sense, but it seemed only to fuel his excitement.

When Jack returned two months later for Bee's birthday, the child was just as—if not _more_—excited than he had been that first night. Jack ruffled the boy's hair and proudly told him that he was growing up. Ten-years-old, he was in double-digits now!

Bee grinned, saying that there were now only three years until he could sail.

These next two birthdays, Elizabeth knew, were going to be nightmares.

If his tenth, eleventh, and twelfth birthdays were nightmares, though, his thirteenth would be hell. Elizabeth didn't know how in the world she would tell her son that day that he couldn't leave with Jack on the _Black Pearl_. It would break the boy's heart, and probably Elizabeth's consequently.

But that, she had to remind herself, was a worry for another day. Today, she was going to enjoy Bee's birthday party.

As Bee opened his presents, Elizabeth smiled. She was the practical parent and Bee received a practical present from her: new shirts, which were about all she had to offer him. Jack, on the other hand, was the "fun" parent. From him, Bee received a hat, just like Jack's, that was a size or two too big—he'd grow into it, Jack said.

Bee agreed. By his thirteenth birthday, when he needed it, the hat would certainly fit.

Elizabeth sighed deeply. The very first moment she had alone with Jack, she berated him again for filling—and now _covering_—Bee's head with the dream that he would soon be a pirate.

Clearing her throat, though, she reminded herself aloud that it was a worry for another day, three years from now. There was no use in soiling everything over something that wouldn't happen for a time yet.

The rest of Jack's visit passed in a decidedly cheerier mood once they set that aside. Even his departure—he warned Elizabeth of it this time—was not so hard as some had been.

Eight months later, he came in late at night, when Bee was in bed and Elizabeth was tidying up, trying to sneak up behind her to scare her. She heard the faintest creak of the door opening and closing, though, and she knew already that it was him.

Without even turning to face him, she called, "Nice try, Jack."

He swore under his breath, causing her to laugh deeply. As he wrapped his arms around her from behind, she sank back against him. She heard his heart against her ear and listened to the rhythm.

Rhythm. It was then that she realized that their lives were following a rhythm of their own: despite Will's visit, life was going on as normally as it ever got for them. It was what any woman really wanted when she settled down and started a family: a rhythm of her own, steadiness in some form.

Hers was far from normal with a husband who was only around one day every ten years and another man in an unnamable role who wandered but came home at least more often than the other. And Elizabeth knew that Jack was more of a father to Bee than Will could ever be, even if it was possible that Bee was Will's son biologically. Will had one day out of ten years to visit Elizabeth and Bee. Though Jack didn't use the full nine years and three-hundred sixty-four days left, he did live with them considerably longer than Will visited.

It was quite possibly the strangest arrangement Elizabeth had ever heard of.

But it was _her _life. Her own rhythm, in spite of its many flaws.

Some of those flaws, though, she had to admit she sometimes longed to fix. Like, at this moment, she wished to fix Jack's leaving (which, for this visit, came a full week after his arrival). Though she understood, she couldn't stop the occasionally hope that one day, he would stay indefinitely.

By the time Jack came again, four months later, Elizabeth had again tucked the irrational hope into a back corner of her mind to sit for a while before it inevitably reemerged.

This time, it was Bee's eleventh birthday and the boy spent the entire day proudly exclaiming, "Two more years, two more years!"

The thought of her baby boy leaving her as well turned Elizabeth's stomach, even though it was a few years down the road yet. She already had two men in her life who couldn't stay, and her baby boy was talking about leaving as well. Since his enthusiasm didn't seem to have died down at all over the past year, Elizabeth counted it as a real, impending event.

Through the entire birthday celebration—and really, for the several days that Jack stayed after—Elizabeth wore a smile that she didn't really feel.

The night after he left, though, and after Bee went to bed, Elizabeth finally took the opportunity given to her and sat on her bed, burying her face in her hands. And she sobbed until she had regained the strength to push the loneliness into the back of her mind again. Until she had reassured herself that she would be all right for a time yet.

Three months later when Jack returned, Elizabeth was still holding on strong. The loneliness was still gnawing at the very back of her mind, but it was at least out of sight.

The next morning, Elizabeth awoke somewhat earlier than she usually did. After dressing according to her usual routine, she brushed her hair before braiding it. It was getting very long, she noticed. She'd barely bothered with trimming it in the twelve years that she'd been on the island now, and these days it fell past her waist.

Bee had liked tugging on it as a child, Jack liked running his fingers through it, and two years ago today, Will too had commented on how much he liked it. Elizabeth, though, had never really decided if _she_ liked it. A lot of times, like right now, it simply served to remind her that she was no longer the young, messy-haired pirate girl she had been. Still, she found it hard to cut all of that hair away.

Sighing to herself, she tossed the braid over her shoulder and went out to the kitchen to start breakfast. Almost an hour later, the smells of a finished breakfast drew both Bee and Jack out of bed and to the table.

Elizabeth sighed quietly to herself as the usual routine kicked off: Bee asked and Jack went into his usual tales of his latest adventures. It faintly prodded those feelings she had been stowing in the back of her mind, but she forced herself to bear it.

These were her men, this was her life. Why should she feel sad about it now, after all these years of being fine?

Asking herself that over and over again got Elizabeth through the rest of Jack's visit and the months that followed.

Nine months later, when Jack came back for Bee's twelfth birthday, Elizabeth was once again firmly pinning the emotions in the back of her mind. She was determined not to fret about things and feel down, but enjoy every day.

Even with Bee's constant proclamations of "One year!" on this day.

Elizabeth laughed, interjected things in the midst of Jack's stories, and amusedly promised to fix the coat that Bee received from Jack, as it was far too big in most places. For all intents and purposes, she was indeed happy. She swore she was.

But, she wondered, did she have herself fooled, or was it the truth? It was a question she didn't yet have the answer to, and she was glad that it was a question that, at least for the moment, didn't really need answering.

Bee's birthday passed in a lighter mood with Elizabeth, and to her amusement, Jack commented that night that she seemed "considerably cheerier today" than on Bee's previous two birthdays.

In response, Elizabeth merely smiled and shrugged. There was nothing to say.

Likewise, Jack wordlessly returned the smile and lightly kissed her forehead.

The next morning, he was gone and Elizabeth sighed lightly to herself as she rolled out of bed. Not a depressed sigh like the ones she had been fighting, but a simple, meaningless sigh.

Four months later, late one night, she heard the door creak faintly again as it had a while ago—almost two years ago, had it been? It didn't seem that long—and she laughed. "Still not working, Jack," she called once again without turning.

He swore faintly like he had before, and she laughed to herself again.

She realized then that this was nice—she was, in that short moment, happy without _trying_ to be happy. She was joyful without making herself forget about impending things. For a moment, she just blinked at herself as Jack rambled about something behind her back. It seemed so strange to her, this just now.

What about that moment had brought her joy?

Surely, it was not as simple as Jack's arrival.

Maybe his antics—which she had seen less of directed at her down through the years—made her feel young again? Maybe she liked that this visit was a tad set apart from others? Or maybe it was something else entirely, something she couldn't think of or name?

She didn't know, and decided that it shouldn't matter. Over-thinking the matter would not bring her any more pleasure than that moment had held. So she went to bed that night wondering faintly, but resolved not to over-think the matter.

They—Elizabeth, Jack, and Bee—spent the majority of the next day fishing. When Bee had been younger, it had been a fairly regular thing with them. Almost every time Jack would visit, they would go fishing. Sometimes Elizabeth would go, sometimes she would not. Sometimes between Jack's visits, just she and Bee went.

But it had been quite a while since the three of them had all been.

In the morning, after breakfast, they went down to the beach. While Bee and Jack waded into the water with their poles, Elizabeth stood on the jetties with hers, mostly safe from the splashing waves. They had pretty fair success, and to Elizabeth's delight, her catch outweighed both her son's and Jack's.

Before long, though, the sun's heat became too much and after stopping at home for a brief lunch, the three moved their fishing adventure to a shaded inland lake. They spent the majority of the afternoon there, and though Jack and Bee had better luck in the lake, Elizabeth still outdid them.

In the late afternoon, on the way home, she certainly didn't let them forget it, either.

She cooked up a few of the fish for dinner, and they all ate while Jack insisted that Elizabeth's fish tasted worse than his. She, of course, insisted that it was the other way around. Bee eventually took his mother's side, leaving Jack's claim unsupported.

Elizabeth expected him to keep up the argument after Bee went to bed, but instead, he fell silent as Elizabeth collected the dishes.

Then, solemnly, he repeated a question he had asked three years ago—was she ready?

Elizabeth had the same response as the first time: "Ready for what?" accompanied by a confused frown.

Again, Jack didn't seem inclined to answer. He fiddled with the buttons on his shirt and didn't look up at Elizabeth to even acknowledge that she'd asked a question. Exasperated, she sighed and pointedly told him that if he didn't answer her question, she'd be unable to answer his.

After a few more moments of silence, he asked if she was ready for Bee to leave.

She swallowed against the lump that immediately rose in her throat. Staring at the floor for several minutes, she eventually answered: no; she didn't think she would ever be ready.

Jack sighed, and reminded her that his fateful thirteenth birthday would be arriving in eight months. And how were they ever going to stop him now?

Snappily, Elizabeth responded that, had Jack listened to her three years ago, they wouldn't have this problem.

She was surprised when he agreed.

That night, they both fell asleep with absolutely no solution in mind. When the morning light came, Elizabeth still didn't have an answer and she found Jack gone. That angered her a little—that he would leave when they were in the middle of such a discussion—but then, as a bit of time wore by, she realized that it gave her time to think by herself, and probably gave Jack the same advantage.

Jack gave her—and himself—four months of thinking time before he returned again. By that time, Elizabeth was sure she had her answer.

Jack poked his head sneakily into the door and looked around before asking if Bee was in bed. Elizabeth answered that she'd sent the boy to bed just under half an hour ago. Nodding faintly, Jack slipped in.

Raising an eyebrow, Elizabeth asked why he didn't want Bee to see him. He answered that this visit wasn't about him and Bee, but about Elizabeth and Bee. Quietly and solemnly, he repeated the question from his last visit: how were they ever going to stop Bee from leaving in four months?

Softly, simply, Elizabeth gave her answer.

They weren't. They couldn't stop Bee now. In four months, when he turned thirteen, he was going to leave on the _Black Pearl_ with his father.

Apparently surprised by her words, Jack just blinked at her for a moment. Then slowly, he asked if she was serious. Surely, he said, she wasn't. She wouldn't let Bee go that easily.

She assured him that she was completely serious. She didn't see that she had any other option but to let him go. The sea's call was in Bee's blood, and if they tried to stop him from going, he would resent them both for a very long time.

Sighing, Jack admitted there was nothing he could do either. And he suggested that Elizabeth help Bee pack in the coming months, so that he didn't forget anything. Sniffling, she wiped away a single tear before it fell all the way down her face. And she nodded.

Jack stood and moved towards the bedroom, but as a thought occurred to her, Elizabeth grabbed his wrist and stopped him.

She asked what he had been talking about three years ago when he'd asked if she was ready—back then, he couldn't have been talking about Bee leaving. Jack's eyes fell to the ground, and he murmured that if she was ready, she would know what he'd been asking.

Again, she stopped him and fixed him with a glare that insisted he tell her.

Still looking at the ground, he was silent for a long time before he answered, "I was asking if you were ready to leave the island. To come with me."

Startled, she blinked dumbly and released Jack's wrist, but said nothing. He walked off, leaving her that way for nigh on an hour before she regained enough brain function to go to bed herself.

The next morning when she awoke, Jack was already gone.

The next four months passed mostly in a blur of rhythmical packing like Jack had suggested. Elizabeth wanted to make sure that nothing important was left behind.

Some nights, she sat on her bed in the dark, wishing she could cry. But she found that all the wishing in the world would not help her now, and there was little point in it, so she stopped.

When those four months were up, Bee and Elizabeth sat on the beach as the sun rose. As they expected, the _Black Pearl_ soon appeared on the lightening horizon.

Elizabeth closed her eyes, feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin and the cool spray of the ocean on her face. Today, she thought, was the day. When she opened her eyes again what seemed like eternities later, the _Pearl_ was anchored offshore and Jack was steadily rowing a dinghy towards her.

Bee was already grinning beside her, and she made a quick, warning "Tsk!" sound at him. The grin vanished and Bee's face mirrored his mother's straight, emotionless expression.

They let Jack get the dinghy ashore himself and they let him come over to them. He ruffled Bee's hair, wishing the boy a happy birthday. Clearing his throat and throwing a short glance over at Elizabeth, he asked, "So, are you ready?"

"Yes, we are," Elizabeth answered first.

Mouth falling slightly open, Jack blinked dumbly.

Elizabeth's expression remained the same—flat, emotionless—but Bee's grin quickly returned after a few mere seconds. And then he quickly and excitedly gushed that his mother was coming too, they were both leaving with him.

Jack looked to Elizabeth for confirmation and when she nodded, he wrapped her in his arms with a delighted laugh.

He wasted absolutely no time in helping Bee load everything into the dinghy. When they were finished, he extended a welcoming hand to Elizabeth. She told him that before they left the island, there was one thing she needed to do.

Jack looked at her quizzically when she asked for his sword, but he gave it nonetheless.

Taking a deep breath, Elizabeth flipped her hair—in a simple tail today, no braid—over her shoulder. She took a moment to steady her hand with the sword at shoulder-height then struck quicktly and decisively through the hair. The tail came off in her hand and she held it for a moment, unsure of what to do. Then she simply flung it back over her shoulder, letting it fall to the sandy beach behind her.

Handing the sword back to Jack, she climbed into the dinghy and took a seat. Jack shoved them off and rowed them out to the _Black Pearl_.

When she climbed aboard Jack's ship, Elizabeth closed her eyes and reveled in the old, familiar feel of the rocking deck beneath her feet. It had been far, far too long since she had felt that. When she opened her eyes, she saw several of the crew staring at her.

Old faithful crewmates who remembered her smiled widely, new ones who had never known her wondered who she was.

Clearing her throat, she asked what it was all of them were looking at and immediately began barking orders to help Jack and Bee unload the dinghy, get it aboard, and prepare the ship to sail. A few of them still stared at her blankly, but most began scurrying about and doing as she instructed.

She loved how that felt, too. How, even after all this time, it was still second nature to her to be able to command a ship such as this.

As the crew scurried around the deck, Elizabeth climbed to the back of the ship and looked back at the island. It sank in again that she was leaving it behind. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly as her eyes remained fixed there.

She would continue to stare at the island until the _Pearl_ had sailed too far away for her to see it anymore.

In six years' time, she would of course be back again to meet Will for his one day on land. But for now, she was through with being left behind. She was going back to the sea that called Jack, called her son. And back to the sea whose call she had ignored for almost fourteen years now—far, far too long.

With the resurrected Captain in her standing her tall and square-shouldered, Elizabeth turned around to face the open sea.

She had made a decision.

She was through spending her life in wait for everyone around her; she was done with being depressed over everyone's leaving. She wasn't going to put herself in a position to _try_ and be happy anymore. From now on, she would spend what time she could with the people and things that she loved, being happy because she was happy.

In one sense, she would leave. In another, she would stay.

But in her mind, she was once again caught in between.

**THE END (for real this time, no more)**

* * *

**Like I said, please review to soothe my nerves! **


End file.
